[PLUG-TALK] straw poll - the Michael Robinson effect

[Michael Robinson]

On Sun, 2008-12-28 at 20:41 -0800, David Fierbaugh wrote:
> So if marriage is an institute for the purpose of having children,
> does this mean that when a male/female couple is no longer capable of
> having children (tubes tied, old age, etc.) that they are no longer
> married?

Well, the other spouse has no control when it comes to the partner
choosing or not choosing to use birth control, any form.  It is my
opinion that tubal ligations and artificial birth control in general
should be off limits both in and out of marriage.  The Catholic church
teaches that a birth controlling spouse does not cause his/her marriage
to be invalid.  It is not a sin for the non birth controlling spouse to
have relations with him/her.  The birth controlling spouse is sinning
though.

There is also the fact that eventually nature takes its course and
the woman becomes infertile.  The marriage doesn't end simply because
she can't bear children anymore.  The natural loss of childbearing
capability marks a later stage in marriage.

On a personal note regarding the tubal ligation issue, it is a very
selfish act that reduces the reason to engage in sexual activity to
merely seeking pleasure.  I had a girl friend who got her tubes tied
before I met her, it was a mistake to get involved with her.  She 
left me for another man and she will probably leave him for another 
man.  I don't think she will ever enjoy sexual activity again.  She
wants more kids of her own and will never have them.  There is no
procedure to reverse a tubal.  The procedure was botched, her organs
were sticking together internally and rubbing.  I care about her, but 
I can't talk to her anymore.  I am finding it very difficult to 
forget about her and move on.  When I was dating her, she was 
going through a very difficult time that I was "helping" her with.  
It made me feel artificially important, but in reality she was just
using me.  I was blind to her true nature.  She is older than me and
an excellent manipulator.  I feel that something special has been
taken from me and treated like nothing.  I didn't have a chance
of seeing her for what she is in the beginning of our relationship.
The moral is, don't get personally involved with someone you are
helping until the danger passes.  Be a friend, but draw the line
at friendship and don't cross it.  It really hurts when this person
leaves you for someone else if you are overly personally invested.
I hope none of you have to learn what I've learned the hard way.