[PLUG-TALK] Visiting from Tacoma

[Michael Robinson]

On Mon, 2009-01-05 at 15:12 -0800, glen e. p. ropella wrote:
> Thus spake Michael Robinson circa 05/01/09 02:26 PM:
> > You are so misguided.  Sex releases chemicals all right, chemicals that
> > bond you to the person you are having sex with (heterosexual sex mind
> > you).  So if the person you are having sex with leaves you, that doesn't
> > make you happy.  It is hard to break a sexual bond, very hard.  If a
> > person is left by one sex partner after another, their ability to bond
> > is impaired and the net effect does not make them happier.  It's like
> > sticking tape on your skin and pulling it off over and over and over
> > again.  Eventually, the tape won't stick anymore.  The tape is a
> > metaphor for one's ability to bond sexually.  The human mind is made
> > for one sex partner for life.  You can't "get some" from just anybody
> > and be happy.  Use and abuse is just that, use and abuse.  
> 
> You're absolutely right that we have some (controversial) animal model
> evidence that some endorphins create emotional bonds with other people.
>  But you're absolutely wrong that this bond is automatically broken when
> that someone "leaves you".
> 
> I feel a very close bond with all the women I've had sex with.  But that
> doesn't mean we must live, eat, play, study, work, and rear children
> together in order to preserve that bond.
> 
> One of the same chemicals (oxytocin) plays an equivalent role in sexual
> and maternal bonding.  But just because a mother has a very close
> (chemical) bond with her child, doesn't mean that child shouldn't move
> 10,000 miles away to pursue a career or family elsewhere.  Just because
> the child "leaves" the mother, doesn't mean the bond is broken like an
> oil saturated piece of tape.  (What a crappy metaphor.)
> 
> The experience you're talking about comes from _misunderstanding_ the
> role of chemicals in the emotional state of the human.  Because you put
> all your faith in the flying spaghetti monster, you tend to search for
> and find supernatural or mystical explanations for natural physical
> phenomena.  It's your fantasy of a non-physical spiritual bond that's at
> fault, here, not the sex nor the chemicals released during sex.
> 
> Get over your childish _anger_ and recognize and cherish the healthy
> bond that you and your ex-girlfriend will always share.  The more bonds
> you have with the people around you, the happier you will be.  (Note
> that doesn't necessarily imply promiscuity because it takes focussed,
> long-term attention to build the endorphin-based bond between mother and
> child or between couples.)

Uh, my ex girlfriend and I are at odds.  She won't let me speak to her.
Our bond was hardly healthy, she needed me and that's all it was.  I was
too blind to see her for what she really is until too late.  She is an
abuser just like you.

> Also note that since the endorphin-based bonds are (hypothesized as)
> physiologically tied to sexual arousal, they will work regardless of
> whether the couple (or triple ... or any tuple, I suppose) is of the
> same or different gender.  That means that homosexual couples can
> develop exactly the same physiological bond heterosexual couples can
> develop, as long as they stay in a committed relationship long enough
> for the correlation to stabilize.
> 

Everything you have said is bullshit.