[PLUG] Re: It was not my destiny to own a Compaq notebook with Linux

[John Jason Jordan]

More Hewlett-Packard Weirditude

So, having decided to return the Compaq R4000 I called for an RMA and 
simultaneously ordered an R3470. As previously mentioned, HP got the 
credit card stuff screwed up and by the time I got it straightened out, 
the R3470 was out of stock.

I spent the next couple days looking for an R3000 series. There aren't 
very many available at online merchants, and eBay is a bit scary for a 
laptop. So about noon yesterday I decided to buy the R3340 which is 
still available on hpshopping.com in their refurbished area. Not quite 
as good a deal as the R3470, but still better than I could get anywhere 
else. Both the R3470 and the R3340 have nVidia video and there is ample 
documentation at Linux on Laptops for getting the video to work at 1280 
x 800.

The sales dude had told me that it might not make it in time to be 
shipped out on Friday. So about 2 pm I went to hpshopping.com and 
checked on the order. And once again I saw "payment not authorized." So 
this time, before calling HP, I called the manager at my bank, who knows 
me. Together we went on a conference call to the bank's card approval 
department. When I gave the guy at the card approval department the 
exact amount he verified that the bank had approved it a little after 
noon that day. Furthermore, he indicated that they had approved the 
previous purchase right after I had made it a few days earlier. He also 
verified that there was nothing whatsoever wrong with my account, no 
holds or restraints of any kind.

Armed with this information I called HP. I insisted on being escalated 
to someone who could straighten things out. This got me to a fellow who 
identified himself as a "supervisor" with the name "Tim." Tim proceeded 
to explain that HP uses "industry standard" practices to scrutinize 
phone and internet credit card transactions to prevent indentity theft 
and fraud. He assured me he could straighten things out if I could just 
answer a few questions. "Sure," I said, "no problem." He said HP had 
developed a series of questions designed to protect their customers from 
illegal practices. I told him to go ahead.

 The first question was "given the first names Edward, Josh, Samuel, 
Michael and William, which did I most identify with?" I am not making 
this up.

"What questions are coming next?" I asked, "ink blots?"

I declined to answer such a silly question and we had some discussion 
whether I was willing to continue. Finally I agreed to listen the the 
second question. This turned out to be another set of first names, again 
asking which I most identified with. But this time one of the names was 
John, so I laughed and told him my answer was John. "Fine," he said, 
apologizing again for the inconvenience and assuring me that this series 
of questions was "industry standard" and that HP took security very 
seriously to protect its customers.

We proceeded to the third question, which asked me for the billing 
address on my credit card. For about the fourth time I repeated it, 
including the nine-digit zip code, hoping that would indicate that I 
wasn't someone who found a credit card lying on the sidewalk. He thanked 
me for the answer and repeated again the corporate spin about how sorry 
he was for inconveniencing me and how seriously HP took security 
matters. Then asked me the fourth question, which was "what is your 
social security number?"

Now, as anyone who met met at the Clinic and has read my Linux questions 
here, clearly I have some seriously dumb moments. But I'm not totally 
stupid. I decided this was not only the last straw, but it was time to 
inform him that I had already contacted my bank and that the charge had 
been approved hours earlier. I told him that no way was he getting my 
social security number. Then I added the details about the conference 
call the bank manager and I had had a few minutes earlier. I gave him 
her direct telephone number. And then I told him our interview was over. 
I further added that he could do whatever he wanted, but if the website 
did not show the transaction was approved by 4 pm I was calling the bank 
and blocking the transaction. And that I was then going to Fry's to buy 
a Sony. And then I hung up without waiting for a response.

I checked again a little after four and the website still says "not 
authorized." So I called the manager back and explained what had gone 
on. She couldn't believe my report of the conversation. We made another 
conference call to the card approval department. Normally once 
authorization is given you can't undo the transaction. But having the 
branch manager on the phone got past that little difficulty. Having a 
substantial account at the bank also helped. :)

There is only one conclusion we could reach. HP is pissed that I 
returned the R4000 (for which they refunded the full $1428 I pad for 
it), and has blocked me.

I really do like the Compaq R3000 series. Love everything about it. But 
I guess I won't be buying one, unless perhaps a good deal comes up on 
eBay. Later today I'm going to go to Fry's and check out laptops some more.

I've checked out Linux on Laptops and read a great deal about which 
brands are best. Everyone says Thinkpads are great with Linux, but 
they're just too ugly for my artistic side. But at least I have mostly 
given up the idea of getting a 64-bit laptop and running a 64-bit distro 
on it. I definitely want something that is 15.4 widescreen at 1280 x 
800, a gig of RAM and as fast a CPU as I can get. Since I'm back to 
square one with the shopping, I'm open to suggestions.

I always knew installing Linux would present challenges. I didn't 
realize buying the computer would be even harder. :(