[PLUG-TALK] Happy alternate Easter! (2)

[Keith Lofstrom]

My sister had a valid point about source of the colorful
Easter squid in the tide pools that my wife and I will be
hunting on Sunday.  Here I set the record "strait":


On Fri, Apr 10, 2009 at 03:16:22PM -1000, Karen Lofstrom wrote:
> 
> Everyone knows that it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster who leaves
> the baby squid. The tentacles remind us of His Holy Noodliness.

Ah, you have not been keeping up with the tabloids.  Of course,
the FSM used to leave the baby squid.  Except in the tidepools
off New England, where the franchise was operated by the Elder
Gods.  However, over the last decade, a series of highly leveraged
cuttlefish-backed securities spread through the financial sector,
spawning a series of kelp hedge funds and plankton markets.  It
was quite a time on the Whale Street stock exchange.  Did you know
that the "A" in AIG is none other than Seymore Ahab, descendant
of the famous ship captain chronicled by biographer Melville?

Then came the sinking markets of 2008.  Originally the Bush 
administration appointed a bilge lackey to oversee the bailout,
pointing at his great experience in bailing bilge, which is
more valuable than many of the financial instruments at risk.  

However, the Obama administration demurred, and appointed an orca
instead, pleasing the influential "save the whales" constituency.
The Cetacean Czar quickly dealt with mortgages and failing banks,
but was left with billions of baby squid resulting from short
sales of some very fishy derivatives.  Many of the squids found
new homes in the portfolios and stomachs of other Odontoceti. 
However, some squid were stored in the same warehouse as the
remnants of Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition, resulting in
un-palette-able squid in a range of pastel colors that will
perfectly match the decor of your home or office.

Fearing a rampage of Ikea-crazed suburbanites, a Deus ex Marina
was called for.  If not for the smell, this could have been
dealt with by a Deus ex Marinara from the FSM Himself.

After a series of meetings among the G7 representatives ( the
God Seven currently comprises Jehovah, Allah, Brahma, Wotan,
Cthulu, "Bob", and the FSM) an agreement was reached.  The orca 
was appointed to distribute the squid on April 12, 2009, to tide
pools around the world.  Thus, this Easter, our squid will be 
delivered by the Easter Orca, with the full blessing of the FSM
and other popular pantheons.  Hopefully, this will refloat the
world's financiers, so they can extend their tentacles into the
lives of all us suckers.  It's time to get Kraken!

Keith

-- 
Keith Lofstrom          keithl at keithl.com         Voice (503)-520-1993
KLIC --- Keith Lofstrom Integrated Circuits --- "Your Ideas in Silicon"
Design Contracting in Bipolar and CMOS - Analog, Digital, and Scan ICs


----- End forwarded message -----

-- 
Keith Lofstrom          keithl at keithl.com         Voice (503)-520-1993
KLIC --- Keith Lofstrom Integrated Circuits --- "Your Ideas in Silicon"
Design Contracting in Bipolar and CMOS - Analog, Digital, and Scan ICs