[PLUG-TALK] Hmosexual lifestyle opposed by a homosexual...

[Someone]

As a Catholic and a homosexually-oriented man, I am deeply grateful to
the Catholic Church for her position on homosexuality and homosexual
acts. Catholicism, almost alone among Christendom’s churches, refuses to
patronize homosexuals with a watered-down gospel or brutalize them with
a message of irredeemable hostility. The Catholic Church loves me and
all the men and women like me who live as homosexuals. She looks at us
as the adults we are and says that we, too, can cooperate with the Holy
Spirit to sanctify our lives and "approach Christian perfection" (CCC
2359). She confidently calls us to sainthood and to the narrow road that
will bring us there.

I did not recognize the value of this teaching easily. From the ages of
21 to 28, I lived life as a gay activist, accepting and preaching the
message the gay community offers today: Active homosexuality, as long as
it is practiced "safely" and in "commitment," is no worse than
heterosexual activity under the same guidelines. Scriptural or other
moral teachings that argue otherwise are simply out-of-date and were
probably authored by "homophobes." No one, least of all a church, had
any right to tell me how to live my life, and I speedily went about
accumulating the things that made up a "successful" gay life. I took a
lover for a long-term relationship, bought a condo, got on the
fast-track at work, and vacationed at gay resorts. My friends were gay,
my relationship was gay, my workplace was gay-friendly, and my life
seemed filled with youth and pleasure. But I was not happy. 

My heart tossed restlessly, as Augustine’s had also, and every new
pleasure sought brought only sharper pangs. After having so much of what
the gay world took for granted, I found it wasn’t enough. In the early
spring of my twenty-eighth year I turned my life over to Jesus Christ
and began to explore what taking up my cross meant. That exploration led
me, with fits and starts, to the Catholic faith, where I have lived,
gratefully, ever since.

The Church’s teaching on the homosexual orientation and chastity have
been two great liberators on my journey, and it’s appropriate to amplify
upon them. Much of the uniqueness of the teaching on homosexual
orientation stems from the absence of the determinism that characterizes
so many other positions. Men and women with a homosexual orientation are
not automatically candidates for either praise (on the grounds of their
being "oppressed") or damnation (on account of inherent sinfulness).
Like everyone else, they can choose good or evil. This is a teaching
filled with respect; it recognizes us as children of God and not mere
beasts subject to instinct alone.

The Church’s corollary position, that homosexuals are called to
chastity, contributes to this teaching’s unique expression of grace
because of what it teaches about love. Contemporary culture is filled
with counterfeits to love. We say we "love" food, "love" our pets,
"love" the outdoors, "love" our parents and children, and "love" our
spouses. But so much of the time we do not love them as much as what
they can do for us. We love food for its taste, pets for their
companionship, the outdoors for its beauty. And we often bind up our
love for parents, children, and spouses with conditions and tinge it
with self-interest—particularly if a couple has brought artificial
contraceptives into their marital life. 

This is clear to me in the contrast between life before committing to
chastity and life afterward. When I was homosexually active with my
partner, we sometimes would call our sexual acts "making love," but it
was not so much love as utility. Each made the other, with his consent,
a means to an end. But that is not love, and it contrasts sharply in my
experience after committing to chastity. 

All of us want, and deserve, to be accepted at a deep emotional level
for who we are, not for whether we can fill another’s needs.
Paradoxically, this kind of emotional commitment suffers most when sex
becomes part of a friendship. Chaste love can be difficult at times, but
so can all living in truth. I give thanks to God that the Catholic
Church understands this well enough to teach it, and I am grateful for
an organization called Courage, which exists to help homosexuals live
out this teaching. Over the course of my years in Courage I have made
more and deeper friendships than I ever did in all my time actively gay,
and I am convinced that the Courage witness will help our culture come
to a deeper understanding of the true nature of love.